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Save the Mosquito Rally a Success

(Sunset Valley) 50-some years ago Gnome Military Base contracted with Landgraab Science Facility to create larger than normal mosquitoes that could be trained to carry nano-sized bombs.  These were the days before animal rights activists got upset and threatened action if you as much fed chili to your dog and gave it gas.  Even if animal rights groups were that active and as easily offended back then, no one cared about mosquitoes.  Not only that, the mosquitoes and their tiny bombs wouldn’t show up on military radar.

Gnome Military Base constructed their tiny bombs.  Their military engineers got together with Landgraab scientists and genetically modified mosquitoes were created that were three times the size of a normal mosquito.  Everything had gone so well.  Then it was discovered that the mosquitoes couldn’t be trained.    They even did experiments on carrier pigeons to find a gene or brain part that could be grafted onto the mosquito DNA.  It couldn’t be done and Operation Mosquito Bomb as labeled as a failure and scrapped.

All the mosquitoes were released into the wild and the nano bombs sold as fireworks to China.

Every one of those larger than normal pests decided to move onto a property in Sunset Valley.  They were such a problem that the property became known as Mosquito Cove and the original residents abandoned the house.  It has since remained abandoned for more than 50 years as the mosquitoes proceeded to carry out their mosquito life cycle and reproduce year after year making their population grow and grow.

With the formation of the Sunset Valley Homeowners Association five years ago complaints started rolling in about the property.  Abandoned and derelict properties lowered property values.  The incessant buzzing at night was keeping everyone awake.  Mayor Stewart found himself in the position just weeks ago that he had to do something.  “Those people that I hired to answer the mosquito lines, yes, we have mosquito lines, became so stressed from the phones ringing off the hook day in and day out that they all finally quit.  I understand that one of those workers is now in therapy from some weird work related post traumatic stress issue where she has seizures every time a phone rings.   I am waiting to see the workman compensation and disability claims on that one.  The bottom line is, the mosquito issue got out of control.”

Landgraab scientists say that 90% of Sim City’s mosquito population lives on that one property.  Landgraab helped create the mosquitoes and it was decided they were going to do something about it.  That something comes in the form of a highly concentrated pesticide guaranteed to kill all the mosquitoes at once.  The idea was to spray once limiting the environmental impact of the chemicals.

Those same people who complained about declining property values and not being able to sleep decided they liked the idea of pesticide even less.  They worried about the toxic chemicals getting into the water, polluting their favorite fishing spots and killing the fish.  They worried about it creating two-headed squirrels.  They worried about birth defects.  They were concerned about the image it would give the aliens about the intelligence level of the Sim race as a whole.  Pollination Technician #9 told us, “I don’t know why Sims are worried about their reputation in the stars.  Everyone already knows that the Sim race is  a bunch of wankers.  I mean, who the hell creates nano bombs to put on genetically engineered mosquitoes?  It takes a certain kind of stupidity mixed with scientific genius to come up with such an idea.  What really made them think that was going to work?”

Having the intergalactic reputation of  a bunch of wankers didn’t stop people from protesting at City Hall.  People from all over Sim City showed up wanting to save the mosquitoes.  The mayor was more confused than ever.  “First they want them gone.  Now they don’t want us to spray.  Why did I want to be mayor of this crackpot town anyway?  Everyone that lives here is batshit crazy.”  After making that statement the mayor was seen turning off his hearing aids and walking away.

One particular Sim from Sim City showed up at the rally more concerned for the mosquitoes than the use of pesticides.  Simone Pike told us, “Someone has to speak for the mosquitoes.  They didn’t ask to be created in a laboratory petri dish by mad scientists and now their human creators want to destroy them.  It’s not fair.”

The mosquito issue was something that wasn’t going to be solved easily and no matter how it was solved many people were not going to be happy.  Simone Piked decided that there was only one thing to do.  Buy the property.  She dropped out of college and cashed in the Do Peas stocks her grandmother had willed her and bought the property.  Since Mosquito Cove was once again under private ownership the city couldn’t do anything.  In the end, it was a happy ending for the mosquitoes.  They were safe from pesticides and free to live out their mosquito lives.

It wasn’t the sort of success everyone hoped for, but they would take it.  Mosquitoes or not, the property would no longer be abandoned saving property values, there would be no pesticides in the air and water.  One resident leaving City Hall could be heard saying, “I guess we will just have to invest in ear plugs.”